Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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