Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
