Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
