I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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