Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
