On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
