She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
