You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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