these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
