I feel great
I just peed on a car
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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