Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
