There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
