And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
