i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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