I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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