Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
