does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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