I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
well you can't waste a boner
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
