when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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