I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
