There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
there is puke in my bra ... again
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
