Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
