My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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