as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
