We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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