Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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