Jerry, you need to find god
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I AM VODKA MAN
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
