she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize