There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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