I bet he comes in French.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
