she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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