You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
