I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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