she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
