You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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