that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Randomize
