I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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