What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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