I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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