google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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