We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
