so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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