I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
