At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
