So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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