brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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