Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
