so explain again why im purple
no
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
