If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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