i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
