if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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