What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
try to milk me bitch
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