East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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