I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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