I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
