She is in my trunk
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
