I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
