I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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