hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize