At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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