4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
