So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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