listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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