3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
