she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
