ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
