drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
